No fishing today.
Last night Brett, my 17 year old, actually asked me to go fishing with him in the morning. It caught me off-guard. It is usually me who is asking (read that: begging…) to try and spend some father-son (read that: ANY father-son) time together. But this time he asked me. “Sure” I said…without looking at the calendar, “where do you want to go?” I was in that heady place that parents get sometimes when for a brief moment… all seems well with the world…and you think that one day you might actually have a good and positive relationship with your kids.
This morning, reality struck, when I saw that I had an early appointment and couldn’t go fishing after all. The text message to Brett was apologetic and promised fishing the next day, but I know I disappointed him today…I disappointed me too.
The concept of “tomorrow” has never been a comfortable one for me. I’ve always been a “now” kinda guy. (Except when it comes to stuff I don’t want to do.) “Now” is where it’s at. Delayed gratification kind of stumbles off my lips. (it’s even difficult to type…) Waiting is not my strong suit. But there is often wisdom in the waiting.
Sadly, the waiting lessons I’ve learned so far have pretty much been forced on me, I rarely choose to wait.
I equate “wait” with “no” too often. As if somehow God is conspiring against me when “wait” pops up in a situation.
You’d think at 62 I would have learned, and maybe even appreciate the concept by now…nope. Still impatient, still want stuff now. But I think I’m turning the corner.
I still get to go fishing with Brett….tomorrow.