I’m in a stage of life where everything hurts. I swear my hair hurts at times. I don’t handle it well at all. I make noises when I stand up and sit down…I grimmace, I complain and at times, commiserate with Kathy. In just a few short months I’ll be 60. It really doesn’t seem possible. And maybe it isn’t…a lot can happen in 5 months! I don’t know what I thought about 60 before but I didn’t think it was gonna hurt this much!
Our former pastor used to have a saying when asked how he was feeling. He’d say I’m just the way God wants me to be. That’s not what I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear the whining, the complaining. I wanted to know there was more than one baby out there who wasn’t content with …well…anything. But I couldn’t find that person in Joe. Whether he was dealing with his wife at the edge of death or broken ribs, or someone who wanted to filet him for something they didn’t agree with…the answer was the same. His stocism and contentment did motivate me, but it also ticked me off. It WAS possible to find joy and contentment in the midst of struggle. Why wasn’t I living that way. I answered that question a few sentences ago…I’m a baby.
I’ve started to work on a New Year’s resolution early this year…hopefully I’ll have it ingrained into my heart and mind before it has to become officical on 1/1. That is to be content. Not complacent…but content. Content in my marriage, content in how God is providing, content in what God has entrusted me with and content in Christ…the most important contentment there is.
I plan on needing many kicks in the pants as I start down this road…I’m not good at it. Wanting more is what I’m really good at. And I guess that’s OK if you want the right things. I need to want the right things…more time in God’s presence, more time sharing my faith, more time modeling Christ at home. That is a very full life right there.
Guys…don’t put the burden of your lack of discipline on your wife like I try to do sometimes. “Honey…just tell me not to buy that airplane”…or maybe “honey…don’t let me eat that whole chocolate pie” Be a freaking man and either get it together or get some help. Don’t screw up your marriage and your family by doing the same things over and over and expecting different results.
It’s worse when you really know what to do…but you refuse to do it. Does that sound familiar to anyone but me?
Baby steps…for me anyway because…I’m a baby. But maybe, just maybe…I’ve started to grow up.