Life from the rear-view mirror

Hard Holidays… Vol 86

October 21, 2014 | Comment

A while ago we were doing studies on difficult Bible passages at church. We would discuss those sermons at group every Wednesday night.  There were always some interesting responses and points of view that ranged from frustration to anger to resolve to acceptance. A bit of a common thread at the end was that we would ask Jesus about it in heaven.  I think that is a bit of a universal response to the “why?” questions. Even some old gospel songs reflect that thought  “We’ll understand it better by and by” and “One of these days…”



Now… this is total conjecture or maybe con-JERK-sure, on my part…but I think that when I get to heaven I am going to be so totally overwhelmed in the presence of my Savior that any questions I might have wanted answers to will be completely irrelevant. Perhaps our understanding will be increased to the point of simply “knowing” without having to ask…who can say?  But I’m pretty sure I won’t care if God can create a rock so big he can’t lift it.  

Here’s what I do know now. God tells us to study to show ourselves approved rightly understanding the word of truth. So while I’m still here…I need to be a better steward of the Word…a better doer of the Word…a better lover of God and fellow man. I know that as I exercise those disciplines in my life today…I will get closer to God. I will be more like Jesus. I’ll be a better husband and a better father. I’m totally convinced that can and should happen. But what happens when life throws you a curve?

Not too long ago I started  reading a FB post by a friend who was sharing a letter that had been written by a dying mom, and left behind to be read by her family after she had passed away. The letter started like this “When tomorrow starts without me…”  

I couldn’t read any further. The tears started and it felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. All I could see were my kid’s tears… I could feel their crushing grief …I could see their hearts breaking and I could remember 11 year old Brett sobbing the night after Lori’s funeral… “I miss her so much..”   All I could do was put my arms around him and cry with him. I have never felt so helpless as a dad or as a man. I was numb for a very long time…just putting one foot in front of the other trying to be the best father and provider I could be. But we were all empty….hollow.  

But God stepped in. He provided a helpmate for me in Kathy. She has loved the kids and me so much and so deeply that the hole in their hearts, and mine, is starting to mend…and because of that realization…I can breathe and love again. 

The next couple of months are especially tough on all of us…Kathy included. We’re reminded of who we have lost…and then we remember once again that they aren’t lost at all. We know right where they are!  

So this Holiday season we’ll love any family members and friends and loved ones we can get our arms around while remembering with joy the loved ones we’ve lost for now…anticipating a wonderful reunion one day…maybe soon!

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